A couple of weeks ago on the eve of my 46th birthday (that sounds as if someone called Bronte should be writing it – although I can’t promise the same level of literary quality here) I was reflecting on the year which had passed. All in all it was pretty crap – two house burglaries (same housed robbed twice, I don’t have two houses), car accident, stresses at work, and the Stroke, Horse and Hot Water Bottle of the title (more later). In order to break out of this Eyeore inspired reverie I decided to write a blog focussing on things and people which make me smile. Nothing more complicated than that.
I live and work in Belfast and share a shambolic semi with my three children. There was a husband but I disposed of him some years ago, don’t panic, I didn’t kill him. He has, and I quote, ‘put all that unhappiness behind him and moved on with his life’ he’s living far away with wife number two, so you won’t be hearing about him again.
My three children are well along the road of growing up. My eldest child (EC) is a son, age 20, who lives at home and goes to university. My middle child (MC) is a daughter, age 18, who is studying at the local Further Education College, and youngest child (YC) is another daughter, age 15, who is at Grammar school. I had given them amusing nicknames which reflected their personalities. However their reaction to this was sufficient in its profanity to bring Mary Whitehouse back from the dead. We are a rather sweary bunch. There is one other permanent resident – the Judgmental Yorkie (JY) – we adore her and she is the only creature we never fall out with, even when she farts on your face in bed.
To explain the strap line….Middle Class and Middle Aged are fairly self explanatory – I listen to Radio 4 and am forty six. The moist does not, refer to a state of permanent erotic readiness, rather, I’m forty six, I’ve had three children and these days even the most gentle exertion can have damp consequences!
In terms of ideology – I can be found to the right of Opus Dei and to the left of Kier Hardie – sometimes at the same time. It really depends on the issue. So at some point in the future I will probably insult everyone, apologies in advance.
So that’s us! Hopefully over the next weeks and months you will join me in my musings and enjoy the journey. Before I go, i’ll share the names of a few dramatis personae who will crop up in future messages (in alphabetical order )
- BE girls
- School Pals
- The Bolter, Mr Bolter and the Bons
- The Knitters
I have also set up a Twitter account to go with the blog – unfortunately it has a slightly saucy handle because I didn’t read the bit about how long it should be. I can be found at @Thestroketheho1 – which sounds significantly more risqué than it actually is! Please feel free to get in touch or leave a comment below.
Next week I shall share the story of the Stroke and the Horse……..